We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I cannot find my penis.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
