Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
