i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
