69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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