If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
