I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
