Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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