His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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