Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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