i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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