That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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