At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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