But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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