im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
my god I love twenty year old dicks
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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