We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
