Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
