How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
