there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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