Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Randomize
