Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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