OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
COCAINE IS GR8
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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