Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I intend to get homeless drunk
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Boobs speak an international language.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
