Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize