I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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