Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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