I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
