She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
