I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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