There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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