After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
