No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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