the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
