Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
