please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
