Im at strip club and am horny
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
