Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
