she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
