I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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