I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
