Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
