Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
