My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
