When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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