You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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