Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
