why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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