ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
