Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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