I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
