Can i not drive my cunt home
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
