We're facebook friends in real life
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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