Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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