Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize