Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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