There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
