I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
