My nipple is on Facebook.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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