Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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