You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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