I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
