I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
